Scott's Blog

A Day At Shamrock Farms

2007-06-12T13:16:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, It Won't Blend.

2007-06-07T22:25:00.001-07:00

Creditors & Customer Service: Perfect Example of Why These Two Things Are Evil

2007-05-23T12:03:00.000-07:00

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really like this part!!!!)

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"

Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!)

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply."(This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given)

After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."

Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help."

Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 60."

Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
(Priceless!!)

Look What I Bought On eBay!

2007-05-14T11:51:00.000-07:00

When Mother's Day Goes Wrong

2007-05-13T15:35:00.001-07:00

Peakerman with his mom.

2007-05-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

He started out so well, we can't figure out what happened.

What the...?

2007-05-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

Is this a dog or a deformed kangaroo?

Here’s Sheryl Crow’s bathroom. Using one square makes sense now.

2007-04-30T14:08:00.000-07:00

Enter your own caption by leaving us a comment!

Someone had a bad day.

2007-04-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

We stress this has nothing to do with Detour Dan. Repeat, this has nothing to do with Dan!

Gas This!

2007-04-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

Easter was cancelled at our house.

2007-04-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

2007-04-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

One Peak Artist Covers Another -- The Killers Do Dire Straits

2007-04-02T06:47:00.000-07:00

Cutest Little Buttkicker Ever

2007-03-22T13:04:00.001-07:00

Is 'buttkicker' one words or two? Is it even a word?

What Are you Gonna Do To The Monster - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Monica Nelson and I at Peakerman's Penthouse

2007-03-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

See, I'm perfectly capable of making her laugh.

Great way to waste time at work today!

2007-03-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

If you've never seen those Ask a Ninja videos yet, today's a great day to start.

What George and Tony Really Do For Fun

2007-03-06T10:25:00.001-08:00

Wow. I can't even get Detour Dan to do that.

2007-03-05T09:45:00.001-08:00

Craig Ferguson is the Classiest Person on TV

2007-02-28T06:43:00.001-08:00

Chad Vader Episode Six

2007-02-26T08:52:00.001-08:00

It's the lastest from the guys at Blame Society Films.

The lost JFK footage

2007-02-20T14:31:00.000-08:00

Thanks to YouTube, this quickie video of JFK just seconds before his assassination is now all over the Internet after all these years. The guy filming is George Jennings and he turned the camera off just before JFK was shot. It's always nice to go back to those moments before the world changed, isn't it?

What a way to lose a game...

2007-02-14T15:56:00.000-08:00

Watch until the very end. This guy probably wants to hear the Daniel Powter song.

The things I see in my travels...

2007-02-14T15:49:00.000-08:00

A thank-you note from Suns Reporter Kailyn Wells

2007-02-08T17:52:00.000-08:00

Just when we thought this child couldn't get any more adorable...she sent us this thank you note. Again, we hope she remembers us the day she steals Hannah Storm's job. Page down to see photos of her and our other Suns Reporter at the game. They got to sit right next to the players like Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire!

People at 98.7 The Peak,

Hi there! It's me, Kailyn Wells, the Suns poem girl. I can't express how I feel about what you all did for me. It was absolutley awesome! When you all called me on Wednesday (January 31st), I was so nervous. I could hardley read my poem because my hands were shaking so much. It was a good thing I had it memorized.

Anyway, along with my thank you's to you, I wanted to tell you how that night went. We had to leave a few hours after I got home from school because we live waaaaaaaay out in Queen Creek. I was so nervous that all I did, the whole way there, was sing songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep. When we finally got into town, it took forever to get to US Airways Center because of all of the construction and what not. We found a place to park, walked over to The Peak tent, and met Jennifer Atkins. She was cool and really funny too.

My Uncle Keith, and Aunt Becky arrived shortly after we did and we waited outside for about 20 minutes, or 30, I wasn't wearing a watch. I decided to take along my aunt and uncle because my Aunt Becky sent my poem to you all, and my Uncle Keith is helping pay for my school trip to Washington D.C. I did it as a way to say " Thank you" to them.

Back on the subject, the 20, or 30, minutes flew by and Noah Berlin, representing the Suns, came out, handed me and the people who won that contest that you guys are having gift bags with all sorts of stuff in them. Then he took us to the Suns bench. Yay! It was soooooo cool to be courtside. I got the feeling of being something really small in a really big place, but my nervousness had vanished. In fact, as soon as I sat down, I felt completely normal, and anxious to see the Suns run out and start warming up.

I took alot of funny pictures of Jen and Noah, and some pictures of the arena to get a feel for how big the place was from waaaaaaay down there. Finally, the time had come for the Suns to come out onto the court. I cheered as they ran out. Woot! Woot! I took loads of pictures, 116 to be exact, but let me tell you about my stupid moment.

I was sitting on the bench taking pictures and fiddling with the camera. The dumb thing wouldn't stop taking blurry pictures so I hunched over to fix that, and didn't see Amare Stoudemire, the 6'10" giant, running along the bench and giving high fives to everyone. By the time I looked up, he had already passed by my Uncle Keith, and I, and went out to practice some more. I started kicking myself in the head (not literally) for being so stupid, and put the camera away in hopes that something else like that might happen so I could be a part of it. Nothing did happen like that. So there I was, thinking that I was the biggest butt on the court (except for the Spurs, they were the biggest), when Steve Nash started practicing his 3's, 5-feet in front of me. That really excited me because he is one of my favorite players (I don't like to pick favorites).

In fact, when I was on the my school's volleyball team, my number was 13, and we did fairly well. I had a deadly serve and I don't mean to brag. During all of the introduction stuff, we were moved to a spot next to the hoop, outside of out-of-bounds, to watch. The fire pillar things were awesome, and hot. We felt the heat that was coming off of those things, and I had to feel sorry for the guys that had to be so close to it. LOL!

We went up to our seats in section 224 after Noah gave us the Grand Tour of the arena. We even got to see the practice court for the team. That was cool too! The game got off to a bad start on our part, but we hung around, and the game went well...................Until Amare took that shot to the groin from Ginobli (forgive me if I spelled that wrong). The arena was so loud after that, and I'm glad to say, me and my daddy lost our voices from yelling so much. The Spurs basically threw a rock at a hornet's nest and the Suns were doing all of the stinging (I thought of that all by myself :). Anyway, Our boys came out on top, despite having a nasty first quarter, with a score of 103-87. It was an awesome experience and The Peak made it lots of fun. Thank you all so much for this memory. It is one I will never forget.

Sincerely,
Kailyn Wells.

Photographic evidence of why you want to be the Peak Suns Reporter

2007-02-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

The Peak Patrol meets you outside U.S. Airways Center and brands you with a Peak tattoo. Bam! You're indoctrinated! Then maybe if you're Gary, our Suns Reporter, Amare Stoudemire gives you a high-five because you and a buddy get to sit around watching the players practice. Kailyn the Suns poet you heard on the air with Scotty and her family got to hang out too and notice how close they are to the court! Those seats are so good we could only have stolen them from Peakerman. This band of Peakerheads got to sit so close to the action they could even smell Steve Nash's sweat. You too can be a Suns reporter, but you have to sign up online at 987ThePeak.com. Then you can be like Gary and Kailyn! (Well, you can't really be like Kailyn unless you're an awesome basketball poet too. But you can try).

By popular demand -- Kailyn Wells' Suns Poem!

2007-02-06T09:46:00.000-08:00

You asked for and now you've got it, right here, on my blog in its entirety. Could there be a more adorable sports fan? Could she be the next Hannah Storm? I hope she remembers me when...sigh.

The Suns in my Eyes
by Kailyn Wells

All along the Southwest,

only one team's the best,

with their skills bursting right at the seams.

You know that I'd let,

only one on my bet,

it'd just be that Phoenix Suns team.

How can you compare,

the best talents are there,

with their souls soaring right to the hoop.

Playing their best,

boy, they sure have been blessed,

with the skills that keep them in the loop.

With the plays on their tongues,

and the air in their lungs,

to become the best team they can be.

They practice their part,

with winning at heart,

and the passion to set their minds free.

From their 3's to their free's,

something everyone sees,

as they jump, on the rise, to the skies.

With one goal in mind,

as they come from behind,

it's the Suns with their eyes on the prize!

Kailyn Wells attends Skyline Ranch Elementary in Queen Creek. Thank you, Kailyn for this wonderful poem and for being our Suns Reporter!

Maybe the Cards should try doing track?

2007-01-29T08:47:00.000-08:00

Adrian Wilson of the Az Cardinals can leap over 5ft 7in!

How Detour Dan got dropped on his head as a baby

2007-01-25T07:47:00.000-08:00

Fun for the whole family!

Now the winner of this year's Darwin Award

2007-01-25T07:42:00.000-08:00

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The Wreckage resembled the
site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.

Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist... had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel Rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields.

He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO! The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site.

This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.

The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event.

However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not on the ground.

Forget Helen Keller

2007-01-22T10:24:00.000-08:00

This guy is the real Miracle Worker. The hardest working people in America just may be the airbrushers.

Freak soccer accident

2007-01-21T17:33:00.001-08:00

The new, pretty It Couple?

2007-01-17T06:08:00.000-08:00

Patriots QB Tom Brady is now dating Leonardo DiCaprio's ex, Giselle Bundchen. One of our sources say she was standing outside the Patriots locker room following their win on Sunday against San Diego. “She was standing outside the locker room, just kind of leaning against the wall. “No one noticed her, she was dressed like a high-school kid, just in jeans and a T-shirt. But she is gorgeous.” When Tom was dating Bridget Moynahan Giselle once described him as gay. “He’s cute, but if he has a girlfriend, he’s gay to me. There are too many men in the world to go after a man who has a woman. Life is too short.”

I pretty much never want to be on a Japanese game show.

2007-01-15T07:53:00.000-08:00

The next big thing from Apple?

2007-01-10T08:13:00.000-08:00

Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs announced the company's iPhone on Tuesday. The gadget won't have buttons like a traditional cell phone. Instead it will be controlled by touch. It will also play music, surf the Internet, runs the Macintosh computer operating system. The iPhone will also have in it a 2 megapixel digital camera -- most of today's camera phones are 1.3 megapixels or less. The iPhone -- which will run on the Cingular wireless network -- will cost $499 for the 4-gigabyte model and $599 for the 8-gigabyte model. It should begin selling in June.

... The phone will automatically synch your media -- movies, music, photos -- through Apple's iTunes Music Store. The device also synchs email content, Web bookmarks and nearly any type of digital content stored on your computer.

... Jobs says the iPhone uses a patented touch-screen technology Apple is calling "multi-touch." He says multi-touch is more accurate than any touch display ever shipped, and even ignores unintended touches.

... Another nice touch will be "visual voicemail," so iPhone users can jump to the most important messages rather than have to listen to all of them in order.

... The phone supports Wi-Fi and Bluetooth wireless technology and can detect location from Global Positioning System satellites.

... Jobs also unveiled a $299 video box, called Apple TV. It will be available next month. The gadget is designed to bridge computers and television sets so users can more easily watch their downloaded movies on a big screen.

Important news about your morning commute:

2007-01-09T07:33:00.000-08:00

Average Homeboy

2007-01-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

This guy tells it from the heart. Too bad the passion is badly misplaced.

What spiders do under the influence of drugs: a nature video

2007-01-04T10:56:00.000-08:00

Obama or Osama?

2007-01-03T09:16:00.000-08:00

CNN apologized Tuesday for mistakenly promoting a story on the search for Osama bin Laden with the headline "Where's Obama?" A spokesman for Illinois Sen. Barack Obama said the apology was accepted. The blunder came Monday evening on Wolf Blitzer's news show "The Situation Room." CNN called it a "bad typographical error" by its graphics department. (Ironically, CNN did a story on the Osama-Obama "confusion" less than a month ago.)

Will it blend...cassette tapes?

2006-12-28T12:42:00.000-08:00

Maybe we should try doing this with some of Peakerman's cassettes...

The Donald Rips Rosie!

2006-12-21T19:29:00.000-08:00

Wow..."I think she's got some very deep-seated problems...Rosie is a loser." And that's just the nicer things he has to say about her!

What could ever annoy the guy this much? Rosie made fun of his combover. Talk about adversarial! She also ripped his big Miss USA press conference where Tara Conner tearfully talked about the blessing bestowed upon her and then got her second chance from the man whose catch phrase is "you're fired."

Whatever happened to peace on Earth and good will to men at this time of year?

Will it blend -- nutcrackers!

2006-12-14T13:23:00.000-08:00

Bad Santa!

2006-12-14T13:04:00.000-08:00

Here's video of me back in high school!

2006-12-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

Yeah, right. We all know I was too tall for that sport. Check this kid out, he's definite NFL material:

Behind the scenes of Scotty's life story, "White and Nerdy."

2006-12-05T13:04:00.000-08:00

By now you have probably noticed the latest song and video from Weird Al Yankovic, White and Nerdy. Today I just realized the chick in the video who receives a powerstrip as a gift is comic Judy Tenuda! I only realized that because I watched this video:

My kids tell me White and Nerdy is a parody of Chamillionaire's song Ridin' Dirty. I can only hope this Chamillionaire person is something like a Donald Trump for kids, though I am sure that's just wishful thinking.

Add your own caption and try to outwit other Peakerheads

2006-11-29T08:40:00.000-08:00

Some sights render us speechless while others start a flood of snarky comments. We're thinking this photo will do the latter.
Heather's caption: "The crack of the bat could be heard for a mile...while the crack of the butt could be seen for a mile!"
I would write one, but I'm busy watching golf right now. Click on "comments" to leave your caption.

Monkeys and live news casts don't mix.

2006-11-29T08:35:00.000-08:00

Prison fun!

2006-11-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

Just in time for Christmas, Maryland Correctional Enterprises, the manufacturing division of the state's Division of Corrections, has put its 182-page catalog online. Those who visit the website can buy handmade products from inmates. Among the more popular items is the Traditional Veneer Desk, which costs $1,885. Bedding, clocks and signs are also hot sellers. Each working inmate is paid between $1.10 to $2.60 a day. Last year, the agency sold $42.8 million worth of goods.

You can also get your prison fix on the outside, as Let's Go To Prison is currently in theatres. Fox's Prison Break ended last night and won't be back until January. If you want to buy stuff from our DOC, I think you can do it here.

Cardinals tickets!

2006-11-23T07:37:00.000-08:00

Say what you will about the bad year, but you still want to see the really good players like Anquan Boldin in action. I'm giving away a pair of tickets to the Cardinals vs. Seahawks and a 32" Westinghouse LCD TV along with a $100 gift card to Basha's EVERYDAY! Every winner will be qualified to win a trip for two to see the Cardinals play San Diego on New Year's Eve. Listen from December 4-8 and you could win the loot. I thought about scalping them, but figured that would get me in trouble with Peakerman.

Get a sneak preview of tomorrow morning's Macy's parade!

2006-11-22T10:14:00.000-08:00

Here's a clip of a rehearsal for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It's the casts of two Broadway shows, Spamalot and the Color Purple.

Making fun of TomKat!

2006-11-22T08:01:00.000-08:00

If we didn't make fun of the big wedding at some point, it just wouldn't be right.

Is life that bad in Helsinki?

2006-11-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

Some of this sounds a lot like life in America...just an observation.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-14T12:21:00.000-08:00

Does this Tom Dickson guy get paid to do this, you think?

2006-11-10T12:56:00.000-08:00

I am doing this to my golfballs from now on. Whenever I have a bad game. Which is...Oh, I'm not saying!

Because if we can't parody Madonna, there is nothing left for us.

2006-11-10T12:53:00.000-08:00

I think the 3rd parody of Hung Up is the best one. Although a bucket of KFC never saw so much love!

Every man's dream!

2006-11-03T11:45:00.000-08:00

Finally, a blender for men:

Wear Sunscreen!

2006-11-02T08:52:00.000-08:00

The rest of it is, well, up to interpretation. But awesome nonetheless.

Everyone Must See This! - video powered by Metacafe

Bohemian Rhapsody like you've never heard it before

2006-10-27T13:58:00.000-07:00

A future role for Samuel L. Jackson: The Dennis Green Story

2006-10-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

I can see it now; if ever some enterprising producer were to make a film about the life of Dennis Green, Samuel L. Jackson would have to play Green. Nobody else is as much of a badass. Before you watch this video, make sure the kids are out of the room so they don’t learn any new words. If you’re at work, turn the sound down!

Madonna doesn't adopt a child...or does she?

2006-10-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

Why would someone lie about adopting or not adopting a child? Angelina Jolie touts it openly.

Oh well, isn't it great to be famous? The Killers' concert rider has just been posted on the Smoking Gun. They require certain kinds of booze for certain days of the week.

Mr. T is back! Yes, that's right! And how else could Mr. T stage a comeback but with a reality show? Can you guess the name? It's I Pity The Fool, natch. Mr. T will be giving advice. Cool!

Family Guy A-Team:

B.A.'s Burger!

Let's debunk a viral video...And now...Little Superstar!

2006-09-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

First, just watch the video. We'll explain after the jump.

Yes, that's a midget. The man controlling the boombox is one of India's biggest stars of the 1970s and 1980s, Rajnikanth. So the next point should be obvious, but this little snippet was taken from a 1986 movie titled Maaveran.

My only hope in explaining all this to you is that you shine at your next cocktail party or while standing around the water cooler at work. Go ahead, watch the English translation:

Here's an interesting magic trick.

2006-09-19T17:52:00.000-07:00

Is this creepy or cool? Either way, we're not falling for this. Maybe he's clairvoyant or something...

In 1967, McDonald's was such a happy place.

2006-09-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

This will take you back!

Also in 1967, the Vietnam War was going on, the Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl, the American Basketball Association was formed, Nirvana's Kurt Cobain was born, Jimmy Hoffa began an 8-year sentence for attempted bribery of a jury, the first Boeing 737 took its maiden flight, and Muhammad Ali refused to join the military.

Elvis and Priscilla got married in 1967 as well. Linda Rondstadt released her first single, Different Drum, with The Stone Poneys. It was also the year the Beatles released Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. So...what are your memories of 1967?

Scotty likes NIN

2006-09-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah...we couldn't picture it either. But he likes this video!

Wrong Man

2006-05-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to the story of the BBC interviewing the wrong guy on live tv.
They were supposed to interview an expert on copyright law but instead grabbed this guy from the waiting area who was there for a job interview....Hilarious!

2006-05-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

Hi Tad...the ethanol still company is located at dogwoodenergy.com.

By the way...I'm trying to cheer up a good friend whose struggling right now.
Does anybody know any good ...trying to get used to my new prosthetic legs pranks?

When Frogger happens in real life.

2006-05-03T06:13:00.000-07:00

Check out this video!

Cheapest Gas

2006-05-01T11:04:00.000-07:00

Our beloved engineer Ed gave me this link to find the cheapest gas in your zip code.

Solve that computer problem without IT.

2006-04-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

Here's a great link to 450 computer problem solving utilities...have fun!

2006-04-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

Here's Dan after his Naked Traffic fundraiser for the Walk to End Domestic Violence Friday.
Thanks for helping us raise more than $1700! You should have seen the looks from the people in the terminal.

2006-04-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

This German Car is set to begin production in 2009. Base cost: $13000.
MPG: 156! It uses off the shelf technology and a turbo diesel engine combined with a new concept in aerodynamics and overall mass.

Introducing The Loremo!

Weekends

2006-02-22T08:02:00.000-08:00

With warm weather here, it reminds me of my family's favorite weekend activity.
On sunny, spring days we like to pile into the Mercedes convertible and really put it through it's paces on the mountain roads of Northern Arizona. We stop and pick up a bunch of food and eat it right in the car...but only if my neighbor is out of town for the weekend...cause he get's kinda touchy about his car.

2006-02-15T08:42:00.000-08:00

Please...somebody stop me before I kill agai.....hey look...a penny!

LOVE

2006-02-14T05:46:00.000-08:00

Well gang...it's not only Valentine's day it's also the anniversary of Arizona's statehood....February 14, 1912....it was a time in this country when women couldn't vote! I mean, how hard is it to vote for crying out loud!

Meanderings

2006-02-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

A couple of winners from the Red Dress Fashion Show at Arrowhead Mall Saturday.

I've always wanted to be a rock star...not because of my tight guitar skills...
I just think it would be a pity to let my mad, cheating on Heather Locklear skills go to waste.

Hey...shouldn't you be doing something constructive?